Who Am I?

By Rev. Keith Smyth


Men call me Smyth but that is merely a name. No man knows who I am.

My path, from the first flickering of life to the still waters of death, is a riddle which only the gods may solve.

Ignorance mocks itself.

I know my name. I know who I am. None other shall know me. How do I know? I saw it written in blood on the belly of a cloud.

The man who fears being made to look a fool will always make himself in turn look the fool.

Am I a sorcerer?

I am what you wish to call me, although I call myself a scholar. I have walked among the hidden worlds where crows and leaves, dragons and silver badgers and pebbles and all that is beneath the sun and moon and the vault of stars is bound together with a grief and a joy, in the stillness of the gods' sleep. If you call this sorcery, then I am a sorcerer as you say.

Do not pity me. Do not grant me your judgments until you have plumbed the waters of my spirit as deeply as your own.

Fear is a corpse in the armor of a king.

I who have walked the underpinnings of the universe, who has spread Light, and at times, unwittingly served darkness, tell you this. Demons of the darkness, agents of chaos stalk the edges of the Light.

I who have walked this have returned to tell you. Your demons shall consume you as darkness consumes the room when the candle is snuffed, if you live with, for and in anger. Light cannot pass through a wall. Darkness can. Anger is the greatest Demon of all, Chief in the hierarchy of the agents of Chaos.

When you use anger as a shield or a weapon against others, you release your Demon, commanding it to destroy their Light. And yours. For such a Demon cannot exist in the presence of Light.

I who have served both masters unwittingly and with struggle now tell you. Your Demons shall consume you if you choose even unwittingly to serve chaos. Your Demons shall perish if you willingly choose to serve Light.

The choice is yours. There is power in Chaos, brutal, killing, destructive, raw, primitive power. Choosing it through anger, "Honor", or any other reason leaves you with no reason to exist except to serve the Power.

Chaos leaves you without any honor. Honor is a matter of conscience. Those who have no conscience demand others pay homage and respect to their "Honor", to hide the fact that they have none.

Fear is a corpse in the armor of a King, anger is his sword, shield, and lance. For a sword or a lance is useless unless it meets resistance. Neither can they cut or pierce what contains no resistance.

Light resists not, it only illuminates. Darkness resists. Only illumination can cut darkness.

I who have walked among the hidden worlds where, crows and leaves, dragons and silver badgers and pebbles and all that is beneath the sun and moon and the vault of stars is bound together with a grief and a joy, in the stillness of the gods' sleep, tell you this, that you may choose to willingly, wittingly walk the path of Light.

I who have both wittingly and unwittingly attempted to follow two masters tell you that non-recognition of only one Demon shall consume you, placing you prostrate before the throne of Chaos, Lord of Destruction for destructions sake.

None but the brave can ever faithfully follow the path of the Lord, Light. For only the brave can face their Demons, Ogres, and Dragons, driving them back, back into their foul lairs of chaotic darkness, using the flames of Light.

None but the ignorant can serve the Darkness. None but the ignorant coward will choose to unleash their Demons upon unsuspecting allies, for Demons consume all in their path, feasting upon a banquet of death and destruction. Death of Love and Destruction of Soul.

Choose now, Darkness or Light, for you have already chosen, each moment and with each breath you take, now Darkness, now Light, now Darkness again.

Two in eternal conflict. Two masters. Two who cannot be served simultaneously. Two. And only one can be faithfully, knowingly served. One is life, chosen and respected. The other is Death, chosen and repudiated at the same time.

Do you know who you choose? Have you come face to face with your Demons, Ogres and Dragons, and seen them for what they are, creatures of your own destruction?

For you ignorantly and unwittingly serve the Lord of Darkness until you illuminate their dank and dripping lair with Light.

For you are your own Lord of Darkness, or you are your own Lord of Light. I who have walked the pathways of the heavens, peered into the depths of Hell, plumbed the hearts of the furnaces of the Stars, tell you this.

Do you hear me?