Why I am immersed in Metaphysics

By Rev. Keith Smyth


August 10, 1949 - Tribune, Greeley County, Kansas

August 10 is my birthday. I had just turned 14 years old, that day. I was visiting friends a couple of blocks over from our house, when Larry came in and told us that the horse was out of the pen in the back yard. Yeah, we could keep livestock in town in those days. I mean the county population was just over eight thousand, and the town population was twelve hundred.

Anyway, we all went out to round up the horse. The horse was not in the Toadvine's back yard. Yeah, that was, and as far as I know, still is their names. The horse had gotten over into a vacant lot behind the alley, and it was overgrown with tall weeds, and some wild corn. That stuff was over our heads, so we started beating the weeds (any plant growing where you don't want it is considered a weed). I was moving along at a pretty good clip and stepped through a clump of pretty heavy stuff, right into the back end of that horse.

Now that horse let out a squeal, jumped forward, and hunched up. I thought "Oh shit. He is going to kick." I grabbed for his tail, because if you can get a horses tail and hold it hard enough, he won't kick. True. But you have to get the tail. I missed.

I went sailing through the air and hit the ground on my back. I got up, and thought "That is strange, why don't I hurt?" He got me right in the pit of my stomach.

Larry and Jerry Toadvine (Identical twins - I was one of the few in town that could tell them apart, even when they weren't standing together) came bolting through the weeds, and were standing over somebody lying on the ground. They picked up this idiot, whoever he was, and went running toward their house carrying him. I went with them, and tried to talk to them. They weren't paying any attention to me at all. That pissed me off, and I grabbed Larry by the shoulder. My hand went right through his shoulder. He gave kind of a shudder, looked around, but kept going.

I followed them up the stairs into their back porch, and into the kitchen. Well, I tried to follow them that is. But the kitchen door slammed shut RIGHT THROUGH ME! Man, you think that isn't startling? Let me tell you - it is very startling! I was sort of getting the impression that everything was not as ordinary as it had been that morning when mom told me to round up my friends for a party.

Anyway, I was inside the kitchen before I could think about it, and then on into the living room Larry and Jerry were putting this guy on the couch. I could see that his belt buckle was practically smashed. I looked closer, and discovered that was MY belt buckle. What was this guy doing with it? I had never seen him before in my life!

But as I got to looking closer, I began to see that he was me! I mean, we never see ourselves as others see us. Even in pictures, we don't really LOOK at ourselves. I mean, I hadn't, up to then. Anyway, Mrs. Toadvine was checking me - uhhh, that is the body out, and she said "He isn't breathing!" Larry grabbed the phone, and called the doctor. No one in the house knew artificial respiration. Just about then REALLY STRANGE things began to happen!

I could see a very tiny silver cord running from the pit of the stomach of the body to my stomach. I could move myself outside the house by just thinking I wanted to be outside. Then I thought of Mom, and I was in the kitchen where she was mixing up the cake batter for my birthday party. I thought "That is too bad. Now I won't be able to attend, and she is going to be very unhappy that I am not around."

I thought of Dad, and suddenly I was in Horace, Kansas, two miles down the road, and in the railroad depot, where dad was the station agent. He gave a kind of startled jerk, looked around, right through me, said "That is strange", and went back to work.

I noticed that in Horace, around the railroad, in and out of the Railroad Hotel, where the railroad crews changed trains, and had their lay-overs, there were some kind of gray bodies just sort of wandering around. They would just pass through the people on the porch of the hotel, neither noticing the other. These gray beings were faceless, and didn't seem to be doing anything except wandering around. Sort of like they were lost.

So, here I was in Horace, and I began to feel as if I were being withdrawn. I was now standing the the corner of the room where my body was, and Larry was just saying on the phone that the doctor was on his way. The doctor was 15 miles out of town.

The room seemed to be receding, getting smaller and smaller. I was then inside some sort of dark place, that was getting darker and darker. It started whirling around me, and I was feeling intense vibration inside my body. It was so powerful that I thought I was going to be dissolved!

Just when it go so powerful I thought I was a goner, I was out of the "tunnel", if that is what you can call it. I was in a place of total darkness. I raised my hand, and looked at it. "Yeah, "I thought "almost too dark to see your hand in front of your face. What is the place?" I looked around, and I seemed to be standing on something solid, but I couldn't see it. I felt my body, and I was wearing clothes, but they seemed to be of a much finer fabric than my Tee shirt and blue jeans.

I thought "Well, this seems to be it. I must have bought the farm. I am dead. So this is what it is like. Nothing. Nowhere."

I was standing there puzzled as all get out, when I noticed a tiny light which seemed to be way off in the distance. I was looking at it, and it slowly seemed to be getting larger. Not brighter, larger.

In a very short time, the light was very larger, just a little large than a person. But I could see a person inside the light! The light was bright, yes, but not glaring. It did not dazzle the eyes. When it got closer, close enough for me to really be able to get a good look at what was inside, there was a thought in my mind, very soothing, very strong, but not overbearing, which said "Childing, do not be afraid. We will not harm you in any way."

I thought this is very strange - what is a Childing? I was answered almost immediately with the thought "In a moment. What do you have to show us?"

Now, I have to stop here a moment, and do some definitive descriptions. This "being", besides being about 8 feet tall, was made of light. The planes in the face were all of light. There was this sense of absolute acceptance. Complete and total acceptance. It was around, and through me. This "being" seemed to be made of two beings. There was a sense of it being both male and female, the perfect blending of the two attributes. From now on, I shall be calling them - they. Because that is what they were, and are.

Anyway, when they said "What do you have to show us?", around us sprang up many images. I have to call them "images" here, as we cannot describe what I was experiencing. They were 360° around us. It seemed that every thought, emotion, action, word that I ever had up to then was embedded in those "images". I could see connections between a thought over here, and WAY over there, a long time later, a repercussion! I could see words there, and right over here, I could see REPERCUSSIONS. Boy, could I see repercussions! Also, I experienced every one of those situations all over again. Now you must understand, this was all going on SIMULTANEOUSLY. Here, our brain can only hold one conscious thought at a time, and we seemed to only feel one emotion at time.

I saw that many of the thoughts I had, created real, hard, tangible, physical things. Many of the things I had done, thought, emoted, acted, with absolutely no idea of any repercussions, where pointed out to be rather drastic errors of judgement. Not bad, just errors. Other things, were pointed out to be extremely beneficial, to me, and to others. Things I thought would get me on the greased slide to the hot spot down below were treated with a rather vast, gentle amusement.

It seem to take forever, and was over in a moment. When it was over , I asked them who they are.

They said "Childing, we are yourselves of your own far future. We are who you are learning to become. Without us, you cannot be. Without you, we are not."

Now, that is strange, I thought, so I asked (now you got to understand, there was no air there, I was not "talking" in the sense we talk here. Yet, I could talk. So I said "What is this all about? What is happening?"

They said "You are here before your time. An accident. As to what this is all about, you are in physical body to learn to care about others, and to acquire knowledge. That is the sum totality of physical life."

I said "I saw that many of my thoughts became actual physical things. How is this possible?" They said "Thoughts ARE things. What you image with emotion is what we MUST give you in order for you to learn to become us. When you learn to generate a stable image, coupled with a firm emotion, we are bound to bring it into being. But remember, there are issues to having this thing."

I said "Such as?" They replied "Such as, do you have the means to support keeping the item now that you have it? Do you actually, truly want it, now that you have it?"

"For example, you cannot image intangible things. Can you image Acceptance, or can you only feel it? Can you image love, or can you only experience it?

You have much to learn Childing. Do you wish to stay or do you wish to return?"

Now that place was complete acceptance, complete and total love. I didn't know what else was there, but I had the idea that if I wished to stay, all would change completely, into something wonderful. And I knew that if I said I wanted to stay, I could. But I sensed that I would have to be born again into a physical body later.

But my reaction was "But I am only 14 years old!", and I was standing in the corner of the Toadvine's living room watching the doctor prepare a hypodermic. That sucker had a needle on it 6 inches long! He stabbed that thing into the bodies chest, just below the sternum, and rammed the plunger home.

That body gave a jerk, and I was yanked back into that body so fast I bounced right back out again, then back in! I gave a gasp, and the body started breathing. My heart had given a thump that rattled me all the way down to my toes. Man, I hurt all over, more than any where else!

Once the doctor checked me over, and said I was going to be O.K., I tried to tell him what had happened to me. He told everyone to leave the room, he had some other tests he had to do. Then he shoved another hypodermic into my arm, and I went to sleep. When I woke up, all I remembered was getting kicked, then doc waking me up.

However, I was never the same. I became interested in religion. But none of them had what I was looking for. I traveled all over the world in my years in the U.S.A.F., poking my nose into every religion and philosophy I could find. I had noticed that it didn't matter what the trappings were, some people could get their prayers answered, and I wanted to know what the secret was.

In 1971, after taking EST, and attending Silva Mind Control basic and advanced trainings, I recovered the memories. Doctor Houghy was a master hypnotist. I found out in 1971 what was in that shot. I checked my medical records back in my home town. It was Sodium Pentathal, to so-called truth serum. Used in the right hands, it is a very powerful hypnotic. Doc had programmed me not to be able to consciously recall what happened until it was safe to do so. In the '70's, much was being done about Near Death Experiences. It was now safe to recall the incident.

What it all boils down to is that what you think with emotion is what you will get. Even Job, in the bible stated "That which I feared has come to pass." But most people don't notice the key words here "come to pass". All these situations pass, if we learn how we created them, and look for the way out.

There is much more I could go into here, about all the studies, all the midnight contemplations, but that is personal. You have your own path.

Here is all you have to remember. What you think with emotion is what you will get. It doesn't matter what the thought is, nor what the emotion is. If the thought is beneficial, and the emotion is non-benefical, the results will be scattered, BUT YOU WILL GET IT!

Again, what you think with emotion is what you get. So watch your stinkin' thinkin'!